Ahora que acaba el año es tiempo de hace balances, seguimientos y listas. Listas de todo tipo: lo mejor, lo peor, lo más vendido, lo más solicitado…y yo voy a hablar de las portadas más feas que se han publicado en 2006.
Como cada año y antes de que este finalice desde pitchfork hacen publicas las que para ellos son las peores caratulas de 2006.
Con algunas estoy de acuerdo pero con otras no como la de Pearl Jam. Si bien la portada no es para tirar cohetes tampoco es para clasificarla como una de las 25 más feas.
Os habeís preguntado alguna vez que críterios de selección han de seguir para este tipo de lista?
Este es el listado de las 25 portadas:
Built to Spill: You in Reverse
Around the time this artwork was finalized, Built to Spill had to cancel their South by Southwest appearance, as Doug Martsch required eye surgery to correct a detached retina. Don’t stare directly into it!
Cex: Actual Fucking
Remember: Withdrawal is not an acceptable substitute for protection– even when you’re jacked on eight kinds of DXM, riding the seasick crest of that third plateau, and hitting it from the back with some fantasy humanoid lady-creature. It’s just inconsiderate. He’s getting that shit everywhere!
The Citizens: Post Cro-Magnon Drift
Either this thing is rife with symbolic tenor or someone’s understanding of the cro-magnon era is super confused– the printing press hadn’t even been invented yet! Either way, whoever made this happen should probably get on checking those classifieds.
CX Kidtronik: Krak Attack EP
You gotta give it to Kidtronik, though– it’s a pretty solid representation of the music.
Demolition Doll Rods: There Is a Difference
That’s adorable. Are they finding out they’re herms? In Demolition Doll Rods’ defense, this is their least offensive album cover ever.
Eef Barzelay: Bitter Honey
Jesus, Laurie Anderson has really let herself go. Eef!
Eminem Presents: The Re-Up
No one could’ve guessed that Eminem has a secret gift for pencil art, so with his hand-sketched cover for The Re-Up, it’s not a huge shock to find he doesn’t. Never thought I’d say it, but god, I just feel awful for 50 Cent. Is he joining Police Academy or what?
Only one thing could’ve made this worse: scratch-n-sniff.
Ice-T [aka Iceberg]: Gangsta Rap
Haha, look at those shitty sidetables!
Incubus: Light Grenades
Never mind that it’s a hackjob ripoff of Green Day’s American Idiot cover– when did these guys sign to Fat Wreck Chords? Lagwagon, you’re gonna need to step it up some.
Liars: It Fit When I Was a Kid EP
Lawyers ruin everything. This is something Liars fans have fantasized about for years, and now here it is and we can’t see anything! And the limited-edition uncensored 7-inch? Never. Came. Out. They couldn’t just wrap it in blue plastic? I mean, come on, guys: You think the Scorpions sweat this much over Virgin Killer?
Lupe Fiasco: Food & Liquor
The patron saint of coupon inserts answers prayers by slashing prices on all today’s hottest electronics.
Mecca Normal: The Observer
According to a press release, The Observer consists mostly of «ruminations on vocalist/multi-instrumentalist Jean Smith’s experiences with online dating.» : (
Mew: And the Glass-Handed Kites
«We thought it was a bit bold for a band of our type to put our faces on the cover,» Mew’s Jonas Bjerre told Pitchfork in October. A bit bold, indeed. What are you talking about! This is grotesque! (No, seriously, it’s Grotesque.) They couldn’t just get some drawing of a coat like every other Danish band?
The New Cars: It’s Alive!
Todd Rundgren has never been one to obsess over album art, but I can’t help but think this is one of those quality control issues Ocasek wouldn’t have let slide.
Paul Simon: Surprise
I wanted to do a feature this year on the most hated babies. No one else thought that would fly. But if we had? You can bet this one would’ve been in the running. I mean, she’s just so vain. Makeup, eyebrows, airbrushing… what was the budget on this kid’s face? I don’t even wanna think what she spends on hair and nails. Oh, that’s right– run back to the mall, little baby. There’s a sale on Christian Dior!
Pearl Jam: Pearl Jam
Pearl Jam’s longtime green party advocacy has led fans to believe the avocado is a nod to the Avocado Declaration. Initiated by Ralph Nader’s 2004 vice-presidential running mate Peter Camejo, the declaration is named for the fruit that’s «green on the outside, green on the inside.» Okay, fine. But this cover is a bad gradient, a Larabie future font, a miscast drop shadow, and a clipart image that we’ve actually seen used elsewhere (twice!). If this was 1973– and the music doesn’t go out of its way to suggest it isn’t– Hipgnosis would be really disappointed.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Stadium Arcadium
Judging from this tracklist, Stadium Arcadium would have the worst games imaginable. I’ll admit, «Warlocks», «Hump de Bump», and «Torture Me» sound really promising, but that’s three out of 28. The rest– «Slow Cheetah», «Wet Sand», «Hard to Concentrate»– are pretty obviously third-party Korean SNES ports.
Richard Butler: Richard Butler
This album was dedicated to Butler’s late father, George, who luckily died before he had to see this.
Robin Thicke: The Evolution of…
The Evolution of Robin Thicke is a terrible title because it begins, by definition, in Alan Thicke’s loins.
Rod Stewart: Still the Same… Great Rock Classics of Our Time
Between Britney, Paris, Lindsay, and Rod, 2006 could go down as the greatest year for bad crotch-shots in world history. Let’s never look back.
The Sleepy Jackson: Personality
Baseless egotism is by far one of the most entertaining possible traits of the human species, but if you ever realize you just Photoshopped yourself gazing lovingly into the eyes of a duplicate You, it might be time to take it down a notch.
TV on the Radio: Return to Cookie Mountain
Holy shit, how did people miss that Dead Can Dance had a new album out this year? Look at this thing– I bet it’s packed with delectable indigenous musics.
Whirlwind Heat: Types of Wood
It’s the cross necklace that really makes it.
The Who: Endless Wire
2006, as seen through the eyes of a band whose last studio album came out in 1982. Amiga computers are the wave of the future!